Edit early to keep your writing fresh

The title may sound almost contradictory to many people. Let me explain.

Recently, I have been editing a children’s novel for a well-known author who likes someone independent to check her work before it goes to her agent and a publishing editor. This is the third time that I have helped her and we have gradually refined our method of working together to get a better outcome. These are not short books, but 80,000 word novels, with complex plots, rounded characters and some quite tricky emotional and social issues.

For convenience in writing as well as her confidentiality, let’s call the author Jane. (It’s as good a name as any.) We have reached a point now where Jane asks me to look at several specific issues:
• Consistency – e.g. do the characters hold up through the entire narrative? Do events follow on? Are modes of speech maintained?
• Pace – e.g. is the overall pace right? Does the pace change to give rhythm to the narrative? Would the pace improve with addition or deletion of some scenes?
• Geography – e.g. does the virtual map make sense? Are travel times appropriate?
• Complexity – Do the sub-plots improve the whole or distract the reader? Are the moral, social etc. issues okay from the intended audience? Are the grammar and vocabulary at the right level?
• Spellings, punctuation, grammar, etc. (These, of course, are never finished. Every published book contains at least one typo!)

This is, of course, by no means a definitive list of ‘the role of the editor’. These are the issues for which Jane wants particular help and a different author might well seek alternative input. These are aspects that Jane thinks are especially important or about which she is concerned for some reason. Like any successful professional she knows her own strengths and plays to them, but also takes care that relative weaknesses (and I stress that they are only relative) are rectified.

One might expect an established author to work without the assistance of a freelance editor. After all, the agent and publisher will surely do all that is necessary, won’t they? Well, Jane reckons not. Both agent and publisher (and remember that most agents have come from a publishing house) always have an eye on the costs, the market, publicity etc. They are generally extremely competent, but cannot escape the commercial pressures. These, quite naturally and mostly very helpfully, influence their advice. What Jane wants is independent support first, so that there is less that needs the attention of those who are commercially influenced. This, she says, keeps her books fresh and original while some authors, more reliant on the publishing house for editing, become predictable and stale.

I suppose the message to all aspiring writers (and perhaps some experienced ones) is to get someone to edit your work earlier rather than later. But I would say that, wouldn’t I?

Self – The reader’s first concern

Whatever you are writing, be it for business or art, fact or fiction, it pays to remember that the reader’s first love is himself. The visitor to a marketing website is seeking the best bargain that he can get; the person reading a great novel is seeking truths that will enrich his life; you are reading this because you are interested in improving your writing.

In the case of a novel or reference book it would be counter productive to focus writing upon the reader. It would simply destroy the purpose of the work. In marketing, however, the reader is a prospective customer and we all know that the customer is king.

When writing marketing content for a website or printed materials everyone has their own guiding formula. My catchword is ARCTIC. Attention, Response, Curiosity, Temptation, Invitation, Confirmation.

First, you must catch the reader’s attention . The initial text, within which you might include a title, is absolutely vital. The company name is generally unimportant. The reader is looking for a product or service, has come to your site or literature, and your opening statement should immediately alert him that you have the solution he is seeking. Keep it short, specific, accurate and positive.
No We provide the most effective and best selling water filter in the world and we have not had any complaints from the huge range of private customers in many countries who trust our technology.
Yes The most effective domestic water filter in the world. Reliable technology with an international reputation.

Assuming that it is actually water filters that the reader is seeking, the next step is to get him to make a response. Try a question that elicits the answer ‘Yes.’ Do you want to drink pure water, free from germs and chemicals?. He wouldn’t be reading the text if he didn’t agree, but by getting an active, positive response from him you have drawn him in. He will be happy to have his existing ideas about water purity confirmed, expanded and refined.

Now that the reader is on your side you want to use his natural curiosity to take him forward. For example, you might ask him something about which he is unlikely to know the answer, and then tell him some astounding facts. You want the reader to feel that he has learnt something from an expert and that he will be safe if he trusts you. Did you know that up to 800 chemicals find their way into rivers and reservoirs before receiving treatment? Even after leaving the water treatment plant, where some chemicals are actually added, your water is likely to flow through miles of lead or rusty iron pipes.

The result of this is that the reader moves from a level of general acceptance towards one of temptation. He already broadly agrees that he needs to do something about his drinking water, but now he needs to be tempted to accept your specific solution. At this point you hit him with the percentages of herbicides, heavy metals, chlorine and bacteria that your filter will remove from his water. He learns why your product is just what he needs for his own and his family’s health. He discovers that it is easy to install and will save him money over buying bottled water.

The reader now receives an invitation. He is invited to buy your product or find out more about it. This, of course, has been the purpose of all that came before. It might seem to be the end of it, but one more step remains.

Whether the reader makes a purchase or not he should be left with confirmation that his positive response to your site or literature was correct. If he buys from you, leave him feeling happy that he has done the right thing. If he looks for further information or product comparisons, leave him feeling that it’s worth coming back to you before he makes a final decision. If he decides to buy elsewhere or not to buy at all, leave him thinking well of you. He might still recommend you to friends or colleagues who become potential customers.

As a final word, but nothing to do with writing, a good water filter is a good investment. From a so-called candle filter, the water tastes wonderful and is much healthier than most mains supplies and bottled varieties. (I bought one from freshwaterfilter.com, who were very helpful and efficient.)

Writing to sell – convince, don’t con

Writing should always be suitable for the target audience. This is simple good sense. It is no good, for instance, writing a sales leaflet for soap powder in the language used by the scientists who developed it.
Some people make the big mistake of twisting this into the idea that you should write what the audience wants to read. This may prove apparently successful in the short term, but generally ends up in a loss of confidence and trust. Why do so many people distrust insurance, double-glazing and every other high-pressure salesman? Simple! After they have bought the product, they realise that half of what they have been told is a con. It may have been technically legal, but it is still, to ordinary folk like you and me, a con. The policy isn’t really free at all, though the sales pitch made it sound very like it; it isn’t really unique in the market, except that it is the only one from this particular company; signing up today isn’t really in the least bit important, despite the salesman’s excitement about the special deal he is getting for you.
Examples of such ‘con selling’ seen all too regularly are those envelopes that regularly turn up informing you that, ‘You’ve won 50 million – all you have to do is claim it’. Most of us chuck them away with a sigh or a snigger. The reason they still get posted is that the pull of gambling is stronger than the immediate negative response. Everybody knows that the headline is untrue (except legally, of course, but then who ever expects the law to uphold the truth?) Nevertheless, that doesn’t alter the fact that someone, somewhere is going to win a large sum of money if they jump through enough hoops. On the way, lots of magazines, or whatever the product, will be sold. However, very few companies can play this game and get away with it.
Enough of my ranting! What should you write? Whether you are composing a leaflet, letter or web page, the general principles are the same.

• Tell all the good points honestly, but don’t make false claims. Let your belief and commitment shine through, but don’t con yourself!


• ‘Talk’ to the customer. Extol the benefits to ‘you’ and say how ‘we’ can help.


• Keep the sentence construction simple. The two longer paragraphs above are too long, I have used complex punctuation such as semi-colons, and some sentences and even words are a bit tricky for the average newspaper reader.


• Be positive. For instance, the TV in the gym is there to make it even more entertaining, not to relieve the boredom


• Get your writing checked by someone who will be honest. You can look at it a hundred times yourself and not see the flaws. Even the best writers rely heavily on professional editors, and a good editor ruthlessly points out the flaws. It’s no good having someone read your draft and hand it back with, ‘That’s fine.’ It may be good for the ego, but not the sales figures

Beware the spellchecker

I remember, some years ago, sending a friend and colleague an email that caused a great deal of mirth amongst my many work acquaintances. It was sent late into the evening from home, after I had indulged in one or two (or was it three or four?) glasses of an extremely fine Rioja wine. Amongst other things, the email complained that some colleagues could not write accurately, but, as you may by now have guessed, included some horrific spelling mistakes.

As well as blaming the wine, which was undeniably the main culprit, I used the excuse that the spellchecker had not picked up obvious mistakes. This was also true, but rather lame as it is clearly the operator’s responsibility to proofread the final draft. Had I been sober and checked the email through the mistakes would have been corrected.

Did I learn from my mistake? Not a bit of it. I still write letters that are littered with silly mistakes. Of course, my professional work is checked meticulously. It is, after all my job! But when it comes to informal scribblings, I don’t have the same level of discipline. The spellchecker is happy to allow practise instead of practice, reign instead of rain, son instead of sun and ceiling instead of sealing. Things that would usually make me chew my tongue in despair cheerfully pass under my nose and wing their way out into cyberspace.

The lesson is this. If I, a writer and quite a pedantic one at that, don’t pick up the mistakes that slip through the spellchecker, how much more careful should most people be? Most business writing is not written by professional writers, for whom spelling mistakes should be easy to pick up. Nobody can simply rely on the computer to do all the work. It is good at doing a cursory proofread, but cannot match the power of the human brain to deal with the full complexity of language.

By all means, keep using the spellchecker, but always read and edit the finished text yourself and then get someone else to check your work. This is a good rule for all times, but especially after a glass of wine.

Positive language for a positive response

The vast majority of business literature is boring. This applies to printed and web writing alike. It is sometimes tempting to inject a bit of light-heartedness into the text, but it is a dangerous game.

Some time ago, I edited the marketing materials produced by a London hotel. One of the hotel’s attractions was its leisure centre, which included a well-equipped gym. The original script referred to a ‘large satellite TV to give some relief from the torture.’ Now, I have to admit that I agree with the sentiment. The strange machines in gyms are as painful as they are boring. Nevertheless, this was an unwise piece of ironic humour.

The gym is a selling point to people who already like hard exercise, not to couch potatoes like me. Why present a negative perception of the gym, however obviously it is intended as humour? Of course, it is unlikely to deter the hardened keep-fit fanatic and, no matter how the gym is marketed, I am a lost cause. The big risk is that it puts off someone who is wondering whether to try a gym during a leisure weekend. Reminding them that long-forgotten muscles are going to ache is perhaps not the best selling point.

We changed the brochure to say that the gym has a ‘large satellite TV to keep you entertained.’ The number of guests using the gym has increased. Enough said!

Take proper control of your company web site

I recently carried out a web-site review for a solid and successful company. It had followed most of the ‘rules’ for getting high traffic, but had somehow missed the mark. I suspect that a large number of visitors found the site unconvincing, uninspiring and unmemorable. The site certainly did little to enhance the company’s otherwise very high reputation. I quickly spotted the problem, but it took me a while to figure out the underlying cause.

The problem itself was really very simple. Each page was fine on its own, but the site as a whole was not coherent. Some pages had long paragraphs while others were written in bullet points. Sentences varied hugely in length and complexity. Key staff were profiled by some departments, but not by others. Even key branding language varied, including, believe it or not, the name of the company!

The root of the problem was somewhere in the overall co-ordination of the site. The obvious conclusion was that whoever was in charge was not sufficiently skilled as an editor. But that was not enough. Why were senior executives not dealing with it?

The company’s paper publications were excellent, with attention to detail and a common style across the range from annual reports and press releases to marketing materials and recruitment leaflets. Each department’s copy passed through the hands of a small editorial team who corrected and improved the language and transformed it into a coherent company style. Beyond this, a director ensured consistency and co-ordinated the output of different departments in accordance with the board’s strategic demands.

The web site was a totally different ball game.

The company leaders regarded the web site as a techie issue. The different departments were giving well-written copy, but there was no-one with proper editing experience to pull it together. Executives were satisfied with the web pages that were relevant to their own departmental responsibilities and were happy to leave the site management in the hands of someone who understood the technical issues involved. This was the equivalent of leaving paper publications in the hands of printers and graphic designers.

The lessons are clear. First, ensure proper executive oversight of your website. If it isn’t already, your site will soon be the most frequently viewed representation of your company. Second, make full use of professional editors for your site’s text. It depends upon your company’s circumstances whether you are better off doing this in house or outsourcing.

The world needs better writing

Instructions for assembling furniture; sales leaflets; news broadcasts and articles; consultants' advice; political munbo-jumbo.

We see poor writing everywhere, and it makes the world a sadder and more impoverished place.
I am not just talking about bad grammar and spelling, though these play their part. The worst criminal features are lack of precision, incoherence, verbal masturbation and double-speak. Plain English, well written, would improve our world (and, incidentally, be profitable for businesses and restore faith in politicians and professions.)

I will be posting occassional, brief articles that offer guidelines and tips for effective writing. You will note my use of the word 'effective' rather than 'better'. 'Better' is a purely subjective judgement and relies heavily on taste and prejudice. 'Effective' is an objective judgement. It is not about whether I like the writing, but whether the writing achieves what the writer intends.

If anybody out there in the blogosphere wants to add comments, ideas or constructive criticism, please join in.